When sitting down at my keyboard to tap out blog entries, I typically focus on thoughts to consider during planning, what brides and grooms should expect, and words of wisdom about the actual day one becomes wed. Usually it’s about the new, the excitement, the blissful blur. Today, however, I feel compelled to discuss something else: what it’s like once the tuxes are returned, the lashes come off, and you’re, well, married.
It takes a little while for the newlywed shine to start to show some wear, but it does. And life starts to happen again in ways that somehow take a back seat during the engagement phase. Job stuff. Family drama. Bills. The reality of gaining a lawfully wedded life partner is that it doesn’t stay in that pinnacle moment, rather roller coastering up and down and constantly evolving. It’s really about how the two of you get from day to day successfully, working as a team.
It isn’t always easy…and sometimes it’s just plain hard. But in the end, the love you share and life you are constantly building (and rebuilding) together is worth it.
Full disclosure – today is my anniversary. Two years ago I stood on the vista behind the Wadsworth Mansion and vowed to my husband that I’d be in it with him through good times and sad times, easy moments and difficult ones. And as much of a fairy tale as it was (seriously, it was – watch the preview HERE), we don’t live in a movie or the slow motion stop-time of our wedding day. In fact, we’ve experienced the gamut of life in the span of a year: laughing until our sides ache with old friends over dinner, supporting each other through major parental illnesses, singing along to the radio at the top of our lungs during road trips, feeling helpless from the losses of multiple pregnancies. Through the highs and lows, I wouldn’t trade my chosen person for anything in the world.
Wedding vows are a serious thing, not to be taken lightly. You might think that with all of the weddings I witness and am a part of that by now I’d be jaded or unaffected by them. But it’s just the opposite. Maybe it’s because I, too, made such life-changing promises here in this place, and I know first-hand what it feels like to say those words with these stately, grand surroundings… I’m truly moved, though – often – and hearing others pledge their souls and eternal love to one another is an amazing reminder to me of my own vows, and how I can be a better partner to my best partner.
Today’s wedding has been no exception – perhaps it rang even truer because they will share our anniversary date and the same, special venue. As dinner proceeds and I hear the sounds of celebration and happiness ringing through the house, I’m feeling nostalgic for my own wedding. So much life has happened since then… But that’s what marrying is all about – declaring that you’ll go through everything that life has in store hand-in-hand and doubly strong.
May your anniversaries be happy and centering. May your marriages be long and hardy. May your loves be nurturing and giving.
P.S. Happy Anniversary, Tom – I love you beyond measure…
Natalie Newman Locke, the Event Supervisor and a Wadsworth Mansion bride herself, is a seasoned wedding & production professional. When not creatively writing, photographing weddings, or acting as social media guru, she enjoys sampling wedding cake.