Mailbag #1 (Chuppahs and JPs and Tastings, Oh My!)
We field many questions here at the Wadsworth Mansion — some big, some small (although when they’re about weddings, small is a relative term). Here are a few of our recent, real queries:
Hi again —
We’re having a friend officiate the ceremony; I’ve looked in CT laws, and looks like we’re fine as long as they are credited through [American Marriage Ministries]– but just wanted to see if you had any additional information on this? No biggie at all if not, but worth asking!
My understanding is that for a wedding to be legal in CT, a CT Justice of the Peace or Judge or active clergy member must be present to do the paperwork and legally witness your marriage. I’ve seen couples have their friends do the ceremony with a JP present to do the legal paperwork parts; I’ve also known a JP or judge to do the legal marriage part first (tucked away somewhere) just before the friend does the big ceremony in front of guests and loved ones. I can recommend several JPs who will happily help your friend marry you. For a little further reading on legally marrying in CT, read here starting halfway down at “Connecticut General Statutes.”
We just had our tasting with our caterers and we’re a bit concerned. [My fiance] didn’t think his steak was cooked properly, and as you know having amazing food is a big part of what we want for our wedding. I’m a vegetarian so I couldn’t taste it to give my opinion, but it was red in the middle… Since they’re on your list, I thought we wouldn’t have any issues and that they would know what they’re doing, but now I’m worried that we’ve made the wrong decision about caterers. We did like a lot of what they served (my entree was excellent) but [his] filet wasn’t well done. Can you tell us how their food has been previously and if any other couples have issues with them?
I’m sorry your tasting wasn’t quite what you hoped for! I have to say I’m surprised. I’ve actually never heard any negative feedback about [this catering company], nor had anything resembling a poor experience with them myself. Have you let them know the exact things that didn’t meet your expectations? You should — and don’t be bashful about it — because they can’t fix what they don’t know! And remember that they are caterers; their job is to cater to your needs…which they can do well if you communicate those needs with them. Tastings usually do go pretty smoothly, generally speaking. But the reason they exist is to facilitate discussion about the menu and it’s appearance. Let me also say that unless you’ve specified a particular desire ahead of time (like cooking filet mignon well done, which is atypical for that cut) the chefs will prepare the food to their professional standards. So, give them a call and share your specific feedback, and continue to keep the lines of communication open with them. I stand by their abilities to give you precisely the smooth (and delicious) wedding that you want, you just have to tell them exactly what you told me. They’ll be more than happy to make any adjustments you need, I promise. Keep me updated!
Got It Covered
I was so excited to drop off our deposit and contract that I forgot to ask you about chuppahs when I was there! Can you tell me where to get one?